Fall Rolls and a Dream.

Spring rolls are those moderately-sized packets of fantastic that mostly come only in bleakly insignificant pairs of two at Asian restaurants. Summer rolls are, though maybe not quite as delicious, wrapped in that celofane-y rice paper and are filled with diet-friendly, fresh beautifulness. What they lack in unctious, they make up for it by making you feel better about yourself, because they’re not fried. What about fall rolls? What? Fall not good enough for some people? Too chilly? Too…fall-y? And winter. Too monochromatic? I smell seasonal discrimination.

It’s time, brothers and sisters, to give peas a chance and stop discriminatory practices that unjustly idolize seasons! It’s time to give all of the seasons their own Vietnamese-style roll-like thingies! I HAD A DREAM that all sticky rice paper sheets were filled with fantastic and avocado!

…to far?

*ahem* SO! The resulting rolls aren’t really traditionally summer rolls, but definitely closer to summer than to spring. Which would necessarily make them fall rolls (you know, “Winter, Spring, Summer and Fa-hall, all you gotta do…is…” okay, that’s enough.) Things is has that other rolls don’t: brown rice and cream cheese. You know me. I have no contention to layering carbs. But, seriously. Labels aside, you could fill rice paper with anything you wanted. I like the contrast of the crispy lettuce, creamy avocado, tangy cream cheese, smokey salmon, eye-wateringly spicy tuna…you hungry yet? Yeah. Thought so. That’s the goal we’re looking for here. You shouldn’t judge a food by its designation. You should judge it by how good it tastes. FREEDOM FROM OPPRESSION!

Makes 2 rolls

Ingredients

2 Rice paper rounds, soaked

1/4 cup Sashimi-grade tuna, minced

1/4 teaspoon Siracha sauce

2-3 drops Soy sauce

1/4 cup Cold-smoked salmon

4 cooked Shrimp

2 tablespoons Cream cheese

3-4 leaves of Romaine, chiffonaded (OOoo, fancy)

3-4 Baby carrots, julienned (I’m so sophistimacated…n’stuff)

1/2 of an Avocado, sliced or cubed

1-2 Scallions, chopped

1/4-1/3 of a Cucumber, peeled and julienned

1/4 cup Pre-cooked brown sushi rice

Sauce

2 tablespoons Sour cream

2 tablespoons Mayonnaise

1/2 teaspoon Soy sauce

1/4 teaspoon Siracha (or more, depending on your respective bravery or cowardice)

1/4 teaspoon Wasabi paste

1 1/2 teaspoons Lime or Lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon Honey

2-3 drops Toasted sesame oil (optional…well. That’s dumb. Everything is optional if it tickles your fancy)

Ha-Haaaaa....win.

1. Mix together the tuna, Siracha and soy sauce. Set aside.

2. Wet a cutting board to work with–this will discourage the rice paper rounds from sticking (I say that as if they can be discouraged…poor, disgruntled rice paper rounds. They get all limp and mopey when they get wet.)

3. Dollop 2 tablespoons of the cream cheese onto each of the rice paper rounds (go at it one at a time, or else the rounds may dry out)

4. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the brown rice along the line of cream cheese.

5. Arrange the rest of of the ingredients, half the portion of each (b’cause you’re making two-that’s 2-rolls) on the rice paper. Make sure to compress the ingredients with your hands ( as opposed to..what? Your feet? Eeew.)

6. Roll em up: lift the shorter flap up and over the ingredients, then, gently pulling the rolled part each time you roll, roll the roll up (<–win). Make sure you tuck in the sides. If you’ve ever rolled a burrito, this is similar, if a little more fragile.

7. Repeat.

8. Combine all of the sauce ingredients and whisk to incorporate (have you ever noticed that there are WAY too many synonyms for “mix”?)

9. Ingest. (I always include this instruction as if you won’t know what to do with the food when you’re done making it)

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One thought on “Fall Rolls and a Dream.

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