The Holy Crisp: Wafflianity

Perfect Waffles

Win.

                                                                         Success Kid - Made waffles for first time came out perfect

“GREAT SCOTT!! I’ve found it!”<–First thing that came to mind upon realization of the discovery of the Holy Grail. Of Wafflianity. I kid not. I’m not sure what reservoir my brain draws from to vomit these random isms. I do have a British torts professor…maybe he’s been a subconscious influence (by the way, really hard not to answer in a British accent when he calls on me).

I think I was more excited about finding/crafting the perfect waffle than I was when I found the perfect pancake recipe. Maybe it’s because there were more fails on the waffle quest, and I sorely needed redemption; or because waffles have a narrower range of delicious (between gooey and brick, and floppy and cracker); or maybe it’s because waffles have to not only pass the “good pancake” standard of review (“You’re a law student if…”) and  are subject to uphold a balance of crispness from the iron, and pillowy softness within. There is no crispy ratio with pancakes. OR maybe it’s because I’m just a waffle-kind-of-a-girl. Waffles are just pancakes with syrup traps. They’re the ultimate in convenience for sryup-laden breakfast foods! No need to try to scrape the sticky stuff up with a bite of flapjack that just falls apart in the process–it’s all kept in a nice little pool on each bite. Plus they have the added bonus of that kind of crispy, kind of not, “sugar-juicy” texture you get when you drown crispy stuff in syrup. Like baklava. I just drooled a little bit on the table.

The recipe came from a number of sources, including this, this and that. It seems the most common ratio is 1:1 flour and liquid, with a varying amount of eggs, leavening and fat. I didn’t want mine to have too much fat, but I didn’t want to compromise the texture. So I did what I do best. Winged it. I subbed half the fat with water, reasoning that the steam would help out with the fluff, and wouldn’t affect the tenderness too much (especially given that there’s not a lot of fat to begin with). I did other stuff too, but you really don’t care, your eyes are getting teary and you want some godddammed waffles.

Makes: 4 square waffles

Ingredients

1/2 cup Cake flour

1/2 cup Whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon Baking powder

1/2 teaspoon Baking soda

2 teaspoons Sugar

1/4 teaspoon Salt

1 tablespoon Butter, melted

1 teaspoon Oil, not melted

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1 Egg, not melted and separated (okay. That was the last one, promise.)

1 cup buttermilk

2-3 tablespoons Water

1. Pre-heat waffle iron. Combine dry ingredients and whisk to aerate and break up any clumps

2. Combine buttermilk, egg yolk, vanilla and 2 tablespoons of the water.

3. Combine oil and melted butter.

4. Beat egg white until stiff, but not dry (same deal as with the pancakes).

5. Make a well in the center of the dry and add the buttermilk mixture. Fold to begin to incorporate and then add the butter and oil.

6. Fold a bit more (there should still be some dry flour streaks), then fold in egg white.

7. Lumpy is gooood.

8. Deposit onto waffle iron in 1/4-cupfuls.

9. Revel in the holy glory of the crispy, the fluff and the sryup traps.

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2 thoughts on “The Holy Crisp: Wafflianity

  1. I bet it’s hard not to answer your prof with an English accent. You should do it one day and see what happens. OR you should have done it on the first day of class, so he’d just assume you’re actually British.

    Anyway.

    Yes, waffles ARE hard to get right. I tend to just go to waffle house when I want really good waffles, and only settle for my own if I don’t care that much. I might have to try this, though, if it is indeed the secret to perfect waffles as you say… 😉

    • If you do, let me know! I’ve only been to Waffle House, like once in my life. I don’t remember it being super-fantastic. Village Inn. Now THEY make super-fantastic waffles.

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