Well Done? Get out.

I bought a big bag of kale. I mean biiiiig. Nobody in my house has the propensity to cook, much less eat something that usually garnishes fried clam baskets. Except me. See, I bought the bag in hopes of making kale chips, but when I saw how big it was…I still had hopes of making kale chips. The bag was literally the size of my bedroom pillow. Did I stop and think, “Hmm…maybe I should have a plan for the rest of this stuff…”? Me? Plan? When KALE CHIPS were at stake? Does Sarah Palin cuddle with baby wolves and otherwise have a soul? The answer, friends, is no. No she doesn’t. And neither did the brobdingnagian kale pillow deter my objective.

Got this lovely picture from http://www.lemonslifelove.com/?m=201107

Result? One cereal bowl-full of successful kale chips, absolutely NO desire to wait that long for more kale chips, and the fuller end of 1/16 of a bag of kale in the fridge. So I did what I do with any leftovers. Put it in a salad.

Since I had just purchased a fine slab of sashimi-grade tuna, I figured I’d go Japahappy and throw in some sesame (seeds and oil), wasabi and soy sauce.

Result of the previous result?

Roughagey awesome.



1 teaspoon Toasted sesame oil

1 1/2 teaspoons Soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon Honey

1 1/2 tablespoons Orange juice

1 tablespoon teaspoon Cider vinegar

2 teaspoons neutral Oil

1 teaspoon prepared Wasabi (or horseradish)

1 cereal bowl-full of Kale

1 1/2 cups mixed Greens

1 tablespoon Shallot or Red onion, sliced

2 tablespoons Red bell pepper, sliced

2 tablespoons Avocado, diced

1-2 teaspoons Sesame seeds

2 tablespoons Wonton strips, or sliced toasted almonds, or both

1/2 lb Sashimi-grade Tuna

3 tablespoons Soy sauce

1 teaspoon Toasted sesame oil

1 teaspoon Honey

1. In a plastic bag, marinate the tuna steak in the soy sauce, sesame oil and honey while you prepare everything else (planning…is the key to happiness. Well that and narcotics.)

2. Microwave the kale on high for 1 minute in the bowl, then shock in cold water. Once it’s cool enough to handle, wring the water out and set aside.

3. Combine all of the ingredients for the dressing (from the sesame oil to the wasabi) in a large bowl and whisk to emulsify. (the large bowl is the funnest part of this entire process. You get to make the lettuce DANCE! Without fear of making a huge mess.)

4. Pre-heat a pan on high with a bit of oil, or non-stick spray.

5. Sear the tuna about 1 and a half-2 minutes per side, depending on the level of doneness you want. Note: if you want well done, buy it in a can. Similarly, there is a fine steakhouse near where I live whose waiters WILL NOT allow a patron to order a steak well-done. Trust me, for giggles one night, I tested the theory. He was not amused.

6. Anywho, the objective here is to get a nice crust, without over-cooking the tuna; so high heat and low pan time.

7. Once done, remove the tuna from the pan and allow to sit while you make the salad.

8. For the salad, throw the rest of the salad ingredients in the bowl and toss gently to coat.

9. Arrange all fancy-like on a plate, sprinkle with a few more sesame seeds and bolt that sh*t.


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