Tummy Promise: Fulfilled. Blueberry Muffins.

I have been making muffins all. Week. My schedule has been homework, muffins, work-out, muffins, homework, buy more ingredients for muffins, homework again, muffins. Sometimes I found myself weighing the benefits of ingredients with muffinous attributes while arguing the constitutional rights of a guy who was shot in his own bedroom by the police. The result?

“Mr. Murphy was seized within the meaning of the butter amendment of the constimuffition, when Officer Carter mixed until just incorporated and is thus subject to review pursuant to the seasonableness standard of the blueberry set forth in Graham Cracker v. Cobbler.  If Officer Carter’s use of buttermilk was unreasonable, he is not entitled to immunity under 42 T.S.P. § 3/4 cups.”

That. And fantastalistic blueberry muffins! While in the thrall of legal research, I might have strayed a little and researched chemical relations of muffin ingredients. I found that oil produced more tender, melt-in-your-mouth-and-fall-apart-all-over-the-table-and-down-your-shirt; butter offered flavor and structural crags that were friendly to the addition of post-baked application of butter; eggs played a supporting,  not-so-important role; sugar preserved moisture and texture, and found that the over-arching dogmatic law was never to over-mix.

I wanted a more cake-like, substantial, squishy, moist muffin that although didn’t need the post-baking butter, but it wouldn’t be like the butter would have nowhere else to soak into because of the inherent fat content of the muffin. Think Otis Spunkmeyer with a little less oily squish. And real blueberries. And the lack of Potassium Sorbate and Xanthum gum.

Otis Spunkmeyer Ingredients…

Ingredients Sugar, Enriched Bleached Flour (Bleached Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Blueberries, Soybean Oil, Eggs, Water. Contains 2% or less of the following: Food Starch – Modified, Soy Flour, Wheat Protein Isolate, Leavening (Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Baking Soda, Monocalcium Phosphate), Salt, Propylene Glycol Monostearate, Mono- and Diglycerides, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Potassium Sorbate as a preservative, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Xanthan Gum, Calcium Sulfate, Lecithin. Contains: Wheat, Eggs and Soybeans

OUR  Ingredients

1 stick Butter, softened

1/4 cup Oil

1 1/4 cup Sugar

2 Eggs

1 1/2 cups Sour cream

1/2 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Vanilla extract

1 teaspoon Almond extract

1/2 teaspoon Baking soda

1 teaspoon Baking powder

2 1/3 cups Flour

Makes 14-15 muffins, or 12 muffins and a mini loaf.

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and line a muffin tin.

*I read somewhere-I don’t remember where-that the creaming method belongs nowhere near muffins. I respectfully disagree. Especially when you’re trying to make cake-like muffins. STOP TRYING TO IMPOSE YOUR MUFFIN DOGMA UPON OTHERS!!*

1. Anyway, cream the butter and sugar. So there. Gradually add the oil, and then the eggs one at a time, beating until fully incorporated after each egg.

2. Add the sour cream and extracts.

3. Combine all of the dry ingredients and whisk to incorporate.

4. Add the blueberries to the flour and toss to coat.

5. Add the wet to the dry and fold to combine.

6. Fill the tins to the top (maybe even mounded a little over the top) and throw em’ in the oven for about 20-25 minutes, or until browned and “A”-grade on the toothpick test.


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