Chickens and Knighthood…as nonsequitor as you guessed.

Birds. I like to eat them. I also like eating fish, cow, pigs, lambs, rabbits…there be no fuzzy, scaly or feathered friend that doesn’t get along with my mouth. The only line I draw as to the species, is whether or not it’s been pumped full of hormones, antibiotics or mercury. Also baby cows. I don’t eat baby cows. I also tend to shy away from anything that isn’t muscle, or can be described using words like “organ”, “wurst”, or “haggis”. But everything else is fair game. I’ve often beaten men thrice my size in that game where the objective is to eat as many different kinds of animals as possible. Before you judge, bear in mind that there are ventures of lesser quality that others indulge in. Like beer pong.

Chicken being amongst the most popular, available and flexible protein out there, ranks high on my list. It’s like a 95′ Honda Civic. There are a nearly unlimited amount of things you can do to it and equally as many parts available, to “supe” it up. Did I just compare poultry to a car? Yes. Yes, I did. But it’s absolutely relevant. Chicken, similarly boasts an infinite repertoire of preparations and flavor combinations. Being a champion of “How Many Animals Have I Consumed Today”, I tend towards recipes that flavor chicken with other meat. Kill two birds with one stone. Or, in this case, a pig and a bird; because tonight, I’m using ham.

Apparently, “Cordon Bleu” refers to a blue ribbon worn by high-ranking knights back in the day they were actually relevant….and additionally has absolutely nothing to do with the dish itself, except that the Swiss decided to give its name to a schnitzel stuffed with Gruyere and ham. We Americans took that idea and rolled with it (have you noticed, by the way, the impressive number of puns I’ve so artfully injected into this post?), substituting chicken for the veal. I love me some ooey-gooey cheese oozing out of a juicy chicken breast. But I didn’t have any. So I just stuffed a juicy chicken breast with ham. It totally worked. Especially with a honey-mustard glaze.


1 Chicken breast, butterflied and slightly flattened. With a mallet. Channel that barbarian!

1 slice of Ham

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon Honey

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees on convection heat, and place a cooling rack over a cookie sheet

2. Wrap the ham in the chicken, jelly-roll style and secure with toothpicks or a skewer

3. Place seam-down on the rack

4. Combine the honey and mustard, then brush over the top of the chicken breast

5. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until done (will be firm, without give to the poke)

6. Allow to rest a bit so the delicious juices have a chance to redistribute.

I served this (to myself) with an herbed cheese sauce. You know those tiny Laughing Cow cheese wedges of goodness? Take a couple of those, soften them up a bit, and gradually add enough water to achieve “sauce” consistency. Boom.


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