Gargoyleosaruses LOOOVE Zucchini.

Like the Gargoyleosuarus, this recipe was destined for obliteration via gigantic meteor, and quiet settlement into historical obscurity. But, thanks to Ms. Rachel Meeks, over at http://doilooksick.wordpress.com/and her love for everything zucchini, (as well as my love for her) I’m bringing it back and sharing it with the WORLD! And who knows? Maybe this post will single-handedly resurrect the glory that was the Gargoyleosuarus and elevate it to the cream of the Jurassic crop, along with its spotlight-hogging brethren, the Plesiosaurus and Stegosaurus. You know…the Loch Ness Monster and Spike from Land Before Time.

These zucchini cakes are fittingly bright green, full of fiber, and pretty freaking delicious. Slather em’ in a Remoulade sauce and scarf them with a simply broiled slab of chicken, and you’ve got yourself a near-Paleo dinner. Okay. Too much of the dinosaur thing? Yeah. The moment I mentioned “paleo”, I figured “too far”. I feel a little strongly about the Wacky World of Dieting. There was almost a smack-down between a friend of mine and I after I called the Paleo diet a fad.

He liked Paleo before it was cool.

*snort*

Anywho, the way I see it: eat what you damn well please, preferably focusing on the fresh stuff. Obviously anything that comes in a can, box, pouch or vacuum pack is going to have some weird extras that may make your skin glow. Everything in moderation (including moderation). I happen to LOVE vegetables. I have no prejudices against any fruit or vegetable. All are equal in my eyes. Except broccoli. Broccoli is better than all of them. Sorry, celery.

I don’t eat as much meat as the average American, and only eat cow every now and then. I carb up in the morning after my big workout and ease up on them before I go to sleep. I don’t eat until I can’t anymore-mostly because I’m very careful to save room for dessert-but also because I hate feeling like Jabba the Hut. Not rocket science. Move around, eat fresh, don’t stuff your face. Balance. Last night I had the best fried grouper ever. Tonight, I’ll probably have something grilled. Balance. Anyway, Paleo, Atkins, South Beach…I guess I understand them as a gateway to more conscious eating habits, but trying to stay on them? Not okay. I even have problems with some of them just acting in this limited capacity. Like on Paleo…no beans?! NO BEANS?! That’s right…no grains either. Of any kind. Or sugar. Sorry. I need my oatmeal with maple syrup and blueberries. And it’s not going to sabotage my health. I’m not sure if there was any kind of logic-driven thought behind that particular diet. And “Dr.” Atkins is the incarnation of evil.

But these zucchini cakes are awesome. And so is the whole wheat flour that helps bind them together.

Ingredients

1 medium Zucchini, shredded (about 1/2-3/4 cup) and squeezed (has anyone ever had zucchini juice? I bet it would make an interesting gin cocktail…)

1/2 cup Broccoli, shredded (or processed in a food processor…I was too lazy to take it out of the cabinet. But apparently I was fine with hand-shredding it. Go figure.)

2 tablespoons Red onion, minced

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 Egg white

1/4 teaspoon Baking soda

1 tablespoon Sour cream (I used low fat)

1 tablespoon Mayo (again, low fat)

2-3 tablespoons flour (I used whole wheat…why not?)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees on convection

2. Combine all ingredients. Add more flour or sour cream to tweak the consistency as needed. It should be about the same consistency as drop biscuits, or crab cakes. Probably a combination of the two.

3. Drop 1/4-cupfuls onto a parchment/aluminum/Silpat/oil-line baking sheet, spritz each with a little non-stick spray and bake for about 10 minutes, or until golden and slightly puffed.

Chicken

1 6-8 ounce Chicken breast, trimmed

Salt

Sugar

Pepper (I use McKormick smokey pepper. It’s the bomb-diggity)

1. Season the chicken with a pinch of each on both sides

2. Preheat an oven-safe pan on high on the stove, with a wee bit of neutral oil

3. Place the breast top side-down in the pan and sear for about 1 minute.

4. Flip it. Flip it good.

5. Remove the zucchini cakes from the oven. They should be done at this point…unless you have super speed, or time-stopping abilities. Which…would be freakin’ awesome!

6. Place the breast in the oven and bake at the same temperature (400 degrees) for about 10-12 minutes, or until done (160-165 internal temp…note, though: FDA says 165 for a “safe” temperature. I say SCREW YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!! I like my meats with a little color and some moisture left in them, so I err on 158-160)

7. Allow the hen boob to rest for about 5 minutes to let the juices redistribute; slice as desired and scarf.

Remoulade

3 tablespoons Mayo

2 tablespoon Sour cream

1 tablespoon each, minced celery, onion and green pepper-nuked for 1 minute

1-2 teaspoons Grainy mustard (or Creole, if you want to be fancy)

1-2 teaspoons Ketchup

1 teaspoon Louisiana hot sauce

Salt, pepper and sugar to taste

1. Rub it all over your face and bask in its creamy glory….or just eat it on your awesome zucchini cakes.

Here’s where I had that amazing fried grouper…Well, it was in the general vicinity, anyway.

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2 thoughts on “Gargoyleosaruses LOOOVE Zucchini.

  1. Zucchinis AND Dinosaurs??? BEST POST EVER! And it’s just for meee! 😀 I feel so honored. Actually, I’m on a diet of “eat things with LOTS of fiber and LOTS of protein” because I’m trying to gain weight back from a surgery, and this sounds soooo yummy and soooo good for me that I am DEF forwarding this to hubby and telling him to run to the store while I’m at work so we can have this dino-mite meal for diner. 😉

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