Enter: Salmonella Band Wagon

So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, friends, that the food and pastry (that’s right, pastry is not “food”. It’s soul sustenance.) communities have attached themselves to the “Red Velvet” concept like a leech on the swollen belly of a hippo. Sure, there are the quests for the perfect classic cakes, and cupcakes; but those more comfortable with a pan and knife have encroached on our domain and brought their creative, pinch-here-dash-there-hippy-hibbly-jibbly foolery, making things like red velvet onion rings and red velvet soup (although, the thought of a sweet red velvet bisque is a little awesome).

And, of course, there’s the new fascination with cookie dough and cake batter. Why it took so long to give that uncooked naughty goodness its fair share in the limelight, I have no idea. Every home baker, college student, sneaky kid and pastry chef has stuck their finger in the batter and/or licked the beaters and spoons. Why not make it its own dessert? Or at least a flavor?

Think about it.

The French are WAY ahead of us with their sabayons, meringue-lightened mousses (mousse? Would the plural of “mousse” be like the plural of “moose”?) and egg-yolk-enriched cremes and custards. Heck, there’s even an American pie called “French” probably because it has raw eggs. And, did we forget, people, about that breakfast staple eggs sunny side up? Soldiers! Don’t forget the soldiers!

But it’s more than just the raw eggs. There’s a certain something about the taste of uncooked flour and the tang of baking soda that makes your toes tingle and eyes light up. It’s the forbidden taste of a dream of what’s to come. The taste of potential. The taste of triumphant sneakiness or guilty pleasure.

Although my mother cringes at the thought of uncooked eggs, I have NO problem with the threat of salmonella. I live on the edge.

I’m not sure who it was that came out of the closet to proclaim to the world the word of uncooked baked goods, but I salute you. You’ve made eating something that’s halfway done socially acceptable. And although I’m okay with a bowl of boxed cake mix batter and a spoon, I thought it may be a little more presentable were I to hop on the band wagon and incorporate in something a bit more sophisticated.

And healthy. Er.

Enter: Greek yogurt with red velvet cake batter.


1 container fat-free or 2% or whole milk Greek yogurt

1 packet Stevia (or 2 teaspoons of sugar, or 1 teaspoon honey)

1/4 teaspoon Vanilla

1-2 tablespoons Almond milk (or regular milk), depending on the consistency you prefer

1 heaping tablespoon Red Velvet Cake mix

1 tablespoon Almond milk (or water, or milk)

1-2 tablespoons Whipped cream (from the can, or fresh)

Raspberries to garnish

1. Stir together the cake mix and liquid (Almond milk, water, milk, whatever)

2. Add the batter to the yogurt, along with the vanilla, sweetener and almond milk.

3. Stir to combine, then add the whipped cream.

4. Gently fold (or not. Whatever.)

3 thoughts on “Enter: Salmonella Band Wagon

  1. You list milk twice. Is that an accident, or should I be adding milk twice? (had to repost so I get an email when you reply…whoops)

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