What’s That Noise Coming from the Tree?


Christmas morning I had planned to make a fabulous yeasted coffee cake with eggnog cream cheese filling. Well. Shit hit the fan, and I up and ran out of time. See, you have to let the dough rest for 8-24 hours, which meant my having to make the stuff Christmas Eve. After I had made an entire traditional Noche Buena meal. And ate it. And visited my folks-in-law to open some gifts. So, finally at around 10:30 I get home to find everyone in bed and the kitchen spotless. I didn’t want to dirty such a prettily cleaned kitchen with tiny burping bacteria and ground wheat that, no matter how much you say “It just won’t work out between us…I’m uncomfortable with your clinginess”, seems to love to fly onto your sweater in a love-blinded rush. No…*yawn*…I’m a creative person. I’ll figure something out.

And figure something out, I did. With the help of the person who came up with the recipe in the first place.

Cinnamon streusel muffins with cinnamon butter filling. There was oatmeal involved which makes them healthy. Top that eggnog coffee cake that’s too aggravated to go into the oven the day you’re mixed. Jeez. Buy a stress ball or something.

Cinnamon Muffins


1/2 cup Brown sugar, packed

1/3 cup Old fashioned oats

1/2 cup Flour

3 tablespoons Butter, softened

1/4 teaspoon Cinnamon


3 Tbsp softened butter

1/2 cup Light brown sugar

3 teaspoons Cinnamon

5 teaspoons Water


1/2 cup Butter, melted

3/4 cup Milk

2 Eggs

1 3/4 cups Flour

1/2 cup Old fashioned oats

2 tablespoon Cornstarch

3/4 cup Sugar

1 tablespoon Baking powder

1 teaspoon Salt

1/4 tsp Nutmeg

1/2 cup White chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 400 degrees


1. Combine everything and mush together with your fingers until it’s crumbly. Boom.


1. Mash together the butter and sugar, then add the rest of the ingredients. S’okay if the mixture breaks, it’s still butter sugar and cinnamon in the muffin. Muffin don’t care.


1. Line a muffin tin. Duh.

2. Combine dry (including sugar and chocolate chips)

3. Combine milk and eggs, and beat lightly to incorporate.

4. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add the milk and eggs. Fold to combine until just moistened, then add the melted butter and continue to fold until just incorporated.


1. Spoon into tins enough of the batter to fill about a quarter of the cuppy-space (1)

2. Drop a teaspoon-full of the filling into each cuppy-space (2) (or just evenly distribute the filling among the cuppy-spaces (3))

3. Top the cuppy-spaces (4) with the remaining batter and evenly distribute the streusel topping.

4. Bake for about 23 minutes (20-25), or until the centers are set.

5. Enjoy with eggnog, family and presents. Lots of presents. And the cat who’s lodged herself in the tree.

*4 times I used “cuppy-space”. I feel accomplished.

Never trust a chef that doesn't practice the art of quality control

Never trust a chef that doesn’t practice the art of quality control


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