She Deserves a Cupcake.

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So, I mentioned that I frequented this spectacular little frozen yogurt joint in town. And by “frequent”, I mean visit religiously at 9:00pm every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I used to feel like a total loser for going so often, but after analyzing why something like that would make me feel like a loser, I figured eating fro-yo three times a week is not only analogous to Starbucking it every morning or haunting a favorite bar every Friday; but it’s way better for your health! Think about it. Frozen yogurt is chock FULL of probiotics, protein and calcium. It’s low-fat and a serving is as expensive as a tall latte. There’s no caffeine and usually less sugar. I feel it’s moot to compare health benefits of frozen yogurt to those of beer. And the people? They’re ALWAYS HAPPY. No one’s in a rush to get to work, or suffering caffeine withdrawals…or itching to start a brawl because you looked at hos or her arm candy wrong. So, why feel bad about wanting to go to a happy place with healthy food? Right. I shouldn’t. That would be silly.

Back to the abnormally nice people who work there. Phong (forgive me if I’ve butchered the name, for I most certainly have) is an adorable, sweety-heart pocket-sized girl who is a little awkward, but always chipper and always happy to see everyone. Everyone. One night, she confided that her birthday was that coming Monday and jokingly asked if I would bake her some cupcakes.

 

Nobody ever believes me when I say yes.

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I suppose, though, that’s a good thing were I ever in a situation involving he risk of date-rape drugs.

 

Suffice it to say, I baked her the cupcakes. She said her favorite flavor was coconut, “I guess”. So I coconutted the hell out of those tiny cakes: Coconut butter cake, Mounds filling, coconut milk buttercream.

Cake

Recipe adapted from here

¾ cup Self-rising flour

½ cup plus 2 tablespoons Cake flour

1 stick Butter, softened

1 cup Coconut milk

1 cup Sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla or coconut extract, or ½ teaspoon of both.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

1. Combine the two flours, the sugar and the butter in an electric mixer and s l o w l y beat until the mixture is yellowish and there are tiny butter nuggets (smaller than lentils). Butter nuggets. Butter. Nuggets.

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2. Add the eggs, milk and extract(s)

3. Turn up the speed and mix until smooth. I like to “sprint” the batter. Yes, I made up the term. Just now. And it means that I turn the mixer up to medium and beat until everything is wet (about 5-10 seconds), then I gun it for another 3-5 seconds until the batter is smooth.

4. Oh, yeah. You’re making cupcakes. You should have lined a 12-cup muffin tin by now. If you haven’t, you’re a ninny. But don’t worry. The batter will be okay while you try and regain your dignity in flitting gracefully to the cupboard and throwing liners Frisbee-like into each cup like a boss.

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5. Evenly distribute the batter and bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until they pass the toothpick test.

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Mounds Filling

1 cup Shredded coconut

Sweetened condensed milk

1. Pulse the coconut in a food processor until it’s a size that won’t get caught in your teeth. Think Mounds.

2. Add enough sweetened condensed milk to make the mixture the consistency of German chocolate cake frosting.

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3. Using a star-top piping tip, removed the centers of each cooled cupcake (use a bigger tip; or a serrated knife…something that accomplishes the task of removing the centers of the cupcakes. You’re smart. I believe in you.)

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4. Stuff those suckers full of the coconutty goodness.

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Coconut Milk Buttercream

½ cup Coconut milk

1 ½ sticks Butter, softened

1 ½ cups Confectioner’s sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2-3 teaspoons Key lime juice (or regular lime juice, or lemon juice)

½ teaspoon Meringue powder(I used Wilton brand, which I bought at Michael’s)

 

1. Reduce the coconut milk to 2- 2 ½ tablespoons, then place over ice bath to cool completely

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2. Cream the butter, meringue powder and sugar

3. Add the milk, extract and juice

4. Take the bowl into a secluded area. Bring a spoon.

5. Okay…you should actually frost the cupcakes. But any leftover icing…

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4 thoughts on “She Deserves a Cupcake.

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