Lobster Beats up Your Kids

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Miguel’s is one of the best…well…one of the best known Mexican restaurants in the Tampa/St. Pete area. We go only sometimes—mostly because it’s like trying to get a ticket to Avengers on opening night at 9:00 p.m. But when we do, I usually get the lobster and steak fajitas. Let that sink in. Lobster. And steak. Fajitas.

There are several thoughts that immediately come to mind. The first is, “WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A LOBSTER INTO A FAJITA?!”. The second is, “Wait a minute…that. Is. BRILLIANT!”

Okay, yes lobster is disgustingly expensive and served only on special menus at high-end restaurants. You know, the ones that charge extra for sides. Or for cleaning the lobster for you. (On the one hand, props for finding creative ways of squeezing as much money out of your patrons as possible…on the other…really?) It is this status that instills the implication that lobster should get special treatment—that really the only appropriate way to eat a lobster is steamed with a side of melted butter. But a lobster is really just a big crawfish. And you don’t see Cajun restaurants charging extra fees to clean the little buggers. No. They’re served by the pot-full; and you get to be as messy, loud and loquacious (word for the day…now try and use it in a sentence with your friends. You’ll impress the shit out of them) as you want without offending anyone…although how you manage to be loquacious while you’re stuffing tiny bugs in your mouth and sucking their brains is beyond me.

The point is: why do lobsters get to strut around (you know…because lobsters strut) being all fancy just because they’re bigger? You know what this is? This is not only discrimination; this is perpetuation of “the-weak-bow-to-the-strong” mentality. That’s why kids get beat up at school! That’s right: lobsters are the reason children are getting beat up at school.

So I say we stop this madness and treat lobster like any other crustacean…nay: like any other ingredient! Why can’t we make lobster fajitas? Or lobster mac n’cheese? Lobster casserole? Lobster deviled eggs? Lobster grilled cheese sammich? Lobster pancakes?!

Why, dear friends, can’t we make lobster tacos?

We can.

And I did.

And they were amazing.

 

Ingredients

1 lobster tail, cubed

Butter

White wine

Salt

3 Corn tortillas, steamed and pliable

1 cup bagged slaw (or shred some cabbage yourself)

1 tablespoon Miracle Whip

1-2 teaspoons Lime juice (depending on how tangy you want it)

1 tablespoon Sour cream

2 teaspoons Mayo

½ teaspoon minced Cilantro (fresh, please)

Avocado slices

Red onion slices

  1. Combine cabbage, Whip, mayo, lime juice, sour cream and toss to combine
  2. Pre-heat a frying pan to medium-high
  3. Spray with a bit of non-stick spray and add the cubed lobster
  4. Allow to sear for 1-2 minutes, then toss them around
  5. Add a pad of butter and a bit of salt and cook another 1-2 minutes
  6. Deglaze the pan with a splash (ONLY A SPLASH) of wine
  7. Serve with avocado and red onion slices (you can pickle the red onion—2 hours before dinner, combine ½ cup white vinegar,  and 2 tablespoons of sugar. Add the sliced onions and refrigerate 2 hours)
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